Two Words...

Clomid sucks.  No, seriously.  Taking this medication has easily been one of the worst things I've experienced.  I was warned about the side effects but never took them all that seriously.  I should have.

Within the two and a half hour time frame of taking my first dose and going to sleep in a pool of my own tears, I went from feelings of murder, to horrendous sadness, to a giggle fit.  It was seriously a terrifying two and a half hours.  I was not expecting side effects that quickly and I certainly wasn't expecting them to hit me so strongly.

My last day taking this is tomorrow.  Praise the Good Lord in Heaven.  I'm praying and clinging to all the hope and faith I have in me that this works the first time.  I don't know that I can muster the strength to go through this again.  My heart goes out to all the women who suffer through this month after month with no answers and no signs of it getting better.

One last thing I want to talk about tonight.  I want to thank every single person who has text me, called, messaged, or commented.  Infertility is scary.  It isn't fun to think about.  And God knows it's a horrifying thing to talk about.  Every time I hear from someone, I know that someone is learning what infertility is.  They're hearing the heart break, the disappointments, the hope, and the all around feelings of infertility.  And that is what is important. 

 Another huge thank you to someone who has been there for me since day one.  She knows who she is and I am so thankful that no matter what time it is, I can shoot her a message and she will let me know I'm not a psychopath for wondering if I should lock myself in the car to keep my husband safe from my hormone-induced crazies. 

Soon.  It will happen for me.  I know it.